It's been a week.

 

 

I sit on top of this wall, thinking about myself and things, which in most ways are not even remotely connected to me; this brick-laid ledge between frailly-hopeful ideals and the reality beyond. At times it sickens me how bastardized this country has become; through greed, pride, and all those other machinations of the runaway marionettes which lead us. It seems that humanity, at least in small but influential quantities, actually believes that War, with the most wholesome and benevolent intentions, can bring about the Peace that everyone else seems to want and celebrities throw around like the buzz-word of the season. Could my choice of resting-area be a metaphor for the state of the world and its gradual stroll to a global war that looms on the horizon like a massive wave rolling toward an already-ravaged shoreline, or is this merely another delusion of grandeur brought on by boredom and unnecessary amounts of coffee?

Nixon [it seems] has risen from the grave to infest our president, and he wants revenge on the reincarnations of all those fuckers that gave him so much trouble last go-around; and this time he's got a lot of the country on his side. Ashcroft's resignation makes... what? Three? Four resignations this term? And so close to inauguration too. I'd say it's like rats deserting a sinking ship, but to say that Bush was ever afloat is giving him too much credit. Do you think they sense WWIII coming? Iran and Syria are banding together to stop outsiders from policing them. North Korea has publicly announced that they believe Japan to be conspiring with the United States to invade. All they need is one more country on another continent to get pissed at us and he can finally start firing the nukes we taxpayers have been funding. The asshole has been daring any country who thinks their cock is bigger (with the worst Clint Eastwood impression possible) to swing it at us, and finally someone has stepped up to bat. His patriotism won't be adequately sated until he's demolished any and every government and economy that threatens to be different from ours, and who can blame him? I mean, where else can you eat a Big Mac and fries, smoke ten Marlboros, sit in a padded square in an office building downtown and move numbers from one column to another, then visit an S&M club and have 3 scotch and sodas, and finally go home to your family and watch Jeopardy and The Swan? And all in one day. To live life any differently would surely kill you and everyone else in your country. We should have elected Al Sharpton.

The sad reality is that there is very little a 21-year-old college delinquent, like myself, can do to prevent this from happening. Sure, I could join protests and rally with other like-minded individuals to confront the injustices of the governing body that I didn't vote for, but was elected nevertheless. But the 60s and 70s are over, sadly, and the kind of power that was derived from large groups of people actually forgetting their petty and insignificant differences and nonviolently fighting for Peace/Love/Harmony, like a pitbull for a bone, is something that will probably never occur again. But the bruised and battered romantic within me still hopes for it; possibly in vain. We tried recreating Woodstock, but that failed miserably with the help of MTV and commercialization.

Part of me understands, and even sympathizes with, why you did it. That same part of me, after taking a long and hard look at the world I live in, would love to join you. At times. But the dominant part of me cries out in protest at your cowardice; your selfishness. You walked out on us when we needed you the most. Who else do we have that can fill your shoes and sagely lead us in the direction we must go in order to avoid our species' tombstone? In the end, I simply mourn you as the mentor I never had. I hope you understand if I put off your wake until such a time as I can properly salute your life.

There are so many things that NEED to be done in order to avoid the inevitable and so little time to do it in. Money needs to be abolished as the inherently evil tool that it is. In actuality, currency/haggling/bartering needs to be abolished altogether. Maybe then, things like scientific research and goodwill can occur simply for humanity's benefit, and not for engorging our bank accounts. Weapons, of all sorts, need to be dismantled, and their components need to be scavenged and used to construct things like housing and irrigation. That metal can be used to give some dirt-farmer in Uzbekistan a home instead of a bullet in the head. Education, of all sorts, from elementary school to college, needs to be free and physically reachable for anyone who wants it. Jobs should be given to those people best suited and able to perform them; and anyone without a job should be placed in one they can perform by a civilian agency run by Buddhist monks. Graveyards should be abolished. That land can be used to house the homeless and those dead bodies can be used to fertilize farmlands or to feed the hungry. Seriously, they aren't being used any more. There are so many other things that could be done to benefit humanity, but most won't be done because our greed and pride; qualities which can not live in harmony with the Peace we so desperately want and need.

We live in a world where Death is feared and reviled, and yet we bitch about our planet's overcrowding. Maybe plagues like A.I.D.S. and Ebola are merely Mother Nature's way of controlling our cancerous population, as are Famine, Drought, and Natural Disasters. That's not necessarily a bad thing. We, as a global society, really need to get over our fear of death. It comes to all of us. Live with it. The point is that no matter what religion you subscribe to, the principle teaching of them all is LOVE, and humanity seems to be forgetting that in favor of the Religion of Fear. The adage had been changed from, "Through Love, all things are possible," to, "Through Fear, you can get what you want," and I find that idea nauseating.

Whether humanity decides to change for the better of us all, or we blow ourselves to smithereens in mushroom clouds of Ignorance and Self-Loathing, the next twenty-five to fifty years are going to be quite a trip.

We'll miss you, Doktor.

Quack!

Normally, I'd be pissed about having a song stuck on repeat in my head for three days straight. But when it's Pink Floyd, you kinda tend to let it slide. And then, yesterday, right after I had gotten it outta my head, Roger Waters and Eric Clapton played it on the Tsunami Aide Telethon. Someone or something wants this song stuck in my head. And although I would normally agree (cause Floyd just rocks) four days is too long ot have one song stuck in your head. My only option is to force another song into my head (on repeat) by listening to it incessantly. But now I'm stuck with trying to find something I'd rather have stuck in my head; and the searching isn't proving fruitful. Anyways...

No school tomorrow. Dammit. I was all set to fuck with English class some more.

I've finished two books in two days. And that was only because my eyes got tired of reading. If only there was a way to read with your eyes closed. Wait... braille. Let me amend my previous statement: I wish words would play across my closed eyelids so that I could read with my eyes closed. But, my eyes aren't tired anymore, so I'm going back to reading.

I haven't heard from Rob in a looooooooooooong time. Hmmmmmmmmm. Hope everything is cool on his end.

Back to the grind on Tuesday!

TTFN

Yup. Brain trauma. But not as much as the first debate.

Definitely too much repetition of the first debate. Everyone knows both of the candidates' stances on "The War in Iraq" and National Security, but it's getting the the point of "beating a dead horse".

I'm glad that both sides are sticking to what they've originally said. I think the voters are starting to realize exactly how Bush twists and manipulates the facts to make it seem as though Kerry is "wishy-washy" and "flip-flops on the issues". I also think they are starting to realize exactly how much of a politician Kerry is by his inability to completely/fully answer questions. And on a high note, my television only has two or three scuff marks from projectile damage instead of the anticipated broken television.

I'm glad there were more varied topics discussed this debate; such as stem cell research, the environment, abortion, and health care. I think the next debate should cover these issues more clearly and concisely, while completely avoiding "the War" and National Security. I think the candidates should worry more about (as well as strictly adhering to) answering the fucking question clearly and completely, and forget attacking their opponents. The lines will be drawn more clearly when everyone knows exactly where you stand.

*rubs temples*

I need a drink....

It's Friday, October 8th, 2004. You know what that means, right?

That's right: the second Presidential Debate takes place tonight at Washington University in St. Louis. This debate, the second of three 90-minute encounters between the President and the Democratic nominee, will have a different setup than the first. This time, uncommitted voters have written questions in advance. Out of this plethora of questions, 15 to 20 have been chosen and their authors will read them aloud to the candidates. While the last debate centered on "The War in Iraq and National Security", there is no specific topic for this one. The third debate will be centered on domestic issues.

I don't know about you, but I plan to have plenty of projectiles ready to pelt the television with when the candidates start skirting the issues in order to confuse the public. If the previous two debates are any kind of prelude to the subsequent ones, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is going to have a field day.

Curious what to expect? Expect Kerry to say one thing, "learn new information", then change his mind and say something contrary to his first statement. Expect Bush to misquote facts, make up statistics, and try to find any way possible to avoid the question while adamantly repeating statements both candidates agree on (and no one is contesting) in order draw support from voters who are weak-minded and easily confused.

Between Kerry's indecisiveness and Bush's poor judgment and incompetence, I'm almost tempeted to vote for Nader. But, as much as I would like it not to be so, that would simply be throwing my vote away. I guess I'll just have to wait until after the third debate to concretely decide on whom I will be voting for.

And let's not forget the VP debate.  Edwards came out of it looking extremely young and innocent. Not the best qualities to have when you're the person residing over Congress as well as the one who takes over the country should the president (Heaven forbid) meet an untimely end. Cheney, on the other hand, came out looking tough, knowledgeable, and like a lying shitbag. All in all this adds up to: the Democratic campaign looking meek and wavery while the Republican campaign looks deceitful and overbearing.

*applies ice-pack*

I'm gonna need more ice....

I love October. For many reasons. Mostly because it contains my favourite holiday: Halloween.

Growing up, this was the only holiday i truly looked forward to, as it was the one day out of the year when I could be someone other than who I was in reality. It was one evening (my favourite time of day) completely filled with a game of Pretend. And you got free candy. What is there not to like?

For me this day was better than Christmas. Yes, I was a little morbid as a kid (I chose Death as the first costume I can remember) and I think that's why I liked it. I can remember every costume I've ever had since Kindergarten. Christmas presents just kinda fade, like birthdays. But Halloween is different every year, but at the same time it never changes.

This year, I'm going trick-or-treating. So what if I'm 21? I have friends who have never gone trick-or-treating in their entire life because their parents think it's a pagan holiday and therefore anti-Christian. What their parents don't know is that All Hallow's Eve (the day Halloween came from) is a Catholic holiday for celebrating those saints who don't have a day of their own; i.e. All Saint's Day. Anways, if by 21 you've never gone trick-or-treating, it's time you've begun. So we're all dressing up like pirates, getting tipsy, and while our wenches carry our grog we shall pillage and plunder our way through candy-giving neighborhoods on a never-ending search for booty.

Aye! Avast ye scurvy seadogs! Secure the mainmast and swap the poop!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me!
We pilfer and plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me!
We extort and pilfer, we filch and we sack
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
Maraude and embezzle and even hijack
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me!
We kindle with charm, we enflame and ignite
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
We burn up the city, we're really a fright
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
We're rascals and scoundrels and villians and knaves
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me!
We're beggars and flaggers and neer-do-well cads
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads
Drink up me hardies, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me!

For the most part, Hurricane Charley has come and gone. From my point of view, it was an incredible let down. Oh, and i decided to go to the party and tell work to go to hell, I'm not driving in that. Anyways, the storm consisted of a little rain and some gusts of wind. The residual storms that passed through this morning actually had lightning and thunder, not to mention a whole lot more rain than what was experienced last night. The phone actually went out this morning. But this does nothing to change the fact that where the hurricane did  come ashore it reaped havoc. There were about 60 casualties last time I heard, and somewhere around a few million in damages. FEMA is already on the job. Right now, the storm has been downgraded to a tropical depression and is currently offshore the US between North and South Carolina.

 

 

In other news, I was inspired last night (but what I don't know) and wrote a poem. "Hurricane Party" was written on August 13, 2004, around 11:30pm. It is entirely in iambic tetrameter. Here you go...

 

The rain pounds against the windowpane,

And I feel totally at ease here.

The wind assails the trees and leaves stain,

And I take another liquored drink.

Tea-colored clouds hang on stilted houses,

And I am completely pleasant here.

We are told to get far, far away,

So let the communal glasses clink.

The storm stirs the sheep to mass panic;

With monsters I am mellowed here.

The ground is soaked and my steps puddle;

The only fear I have is to blink.

The tranquil music drives me to life,

And there's nothing that can break me here.

A faucet makes this monsoon look small,

And I am nowhere near that bleak brink.

The storm has gone without much to see,

But I'm still glad I showed up here.

The show is done; the curtain has fall'n;

Unbroke, I reach for another drink.

I live in Tampa. Which means I get to sit through Hurricane Charley. For those of you who don't know exactly what a hurricane is... let me enlighten you. A hurricane is a massive amount of fuck-you-silly clouds with over 100mph winds and rain that'll get you wetter than a whore at the Oscars. Not only this, but a hurricane has an eye... Which is to say a spot of relative calmness in the middle which exists merely to lure unsuspecting retards out of their shelters only to move on and suddenly resume pounding the shit out of the spot where you are standing. Needless to say the storm surge will draw numerous thrill-seeking surfers to the beaches for some killer breakers. Not too mention zero gas at all pumps, rioters at supermarkets killing each other for jugs of water, and Hurricane Parties (one of which I will most likely be attending) which consist of lots of candles and massive amounts of liquor. I, of course, will be the D.D. because when you can't see the road, you need someone to drive the drunks around.

Wish me luck.

P.S. They want me to work tomorrow and sleep in the casino because we can't leave once we get there and they refuse to close. No, I don't get a hotel room; they're full with families who don't want to stay in motels. I get to sleep on the floor in one of the banquet rooms. I'm thinking of telling them to fuck themselves with an oar and attending a party. Possibility of this happening is increasing with every hour the storm approaches. Especially since it makes landfall at 4pm Friday and I am supposed to be there at 2pm.

I was supposed to do Alien Freak's second writing assignment. But she deleted her journal, so I'm not gonna. But now I'm bored. So I sit here staring at a blank piece of paper, thinking what an ironic simile it is for my creative powers right now. Where's a muse-worthy moment when you need one.

Oddly enough I've been rather AIM crazy for someone so typically antisocial. I don't know what it is about that thing, but I'm a completely different person when I use it as adverse to talking on the phone or in person. Or rather, I speak what I'm thinking instead of thinking about what I'm saying. Did that make sense? Ok, it's more like a stream of consciousness thing (kinda like how I'm writing now). Like, I can be more "me" with a certain degree of separation; such as not being able to see or hear the person I'm talking to. I even started conversations with completely random people. I say "started" because every single one of the people I tried to talk with was so fucking paranoid they asked "Who are you?", and when I would say "No one you know personally...", or even "Guess..." (for those I did know but they didn't know my screenname), they ran away like roaches when someone turns the light on. Who's the antisocial one now?

But you know what I really hate? Preppy rich people. Maybe that's 'cause I'm poor. Maybe that's because my middle name should've been Jaded. I don't know, but something about them really bugs me and makes me want to slowly peel their faces off with a spoon and eat with a nice vinagrette marinade. I mean, human flesh is red meat right? And by that logic it can't possibly taste like chicken. These are probably the kind of thoughts that not only keep me out of really good schools, but certify me as a Democrat.

But on a lighter note, I get Kill Bill, Volume Two in the mail tomorrow. And if I don't someone's getting a nasty letter demanding reimbursement for failure to deliver in one day's time. I'm actually excited to see it. This is one of my special movies. See, every once in a while, I buy a movie I've never seen before and simply hope it's gonna be worth what I've payed for it (as was the case with Kill Bill, Volume One). So far, I've never been wrong. Keep in mind, some of these movies I buy at Wal-Mart for half of what they're worth, so it's all relative. So here's trusting Mr. Tarantino; may the tradition of your movies thoroughly entertaining me not be broken. And be happy cause I payed more than three times the amount on this DVD than what I would've to watch the fucker in the theater.

And I got back into school. I think I said that already. Maybe I didn't; I'm not really sure cause I rarely actually read what I post after I type it. Anyways, I'm taking two of the classes I need for my major (which is Psychology before anyone asks) because the classes I needed to take were full because my college doesn't have any communication with admissions and if the fuckers had simply talked to each other I wouldn't be fucked like this. I mean the whole reason I was admitted was so that I'd take these classes I failed again and raise my GPA enough to get my scholarships back. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, they have to dick around with my records and send me paperwork that they've already received and tell me they need me to fill it out again (when they don't need me to fill it out again, they just misplaced it), only to find said paperwork after I call and bitch at them. So what it all boils down to is: I can't take the classes they told me to take because they fucked up and wasted my time. Or maybe they were teaching me the importance of patience. I don't know. At least I'm back in college.

And I'm glad that I have not only two days off, but a transfer request being processed at work. If I have to work in the kitchen too much longer, I'm gonna snap. And I'm sure you all can imagine what that'll be like.

This is The Raven's insatiable boredom cure...

 

Classic Movie Test Results:

 

Leader Test Results:

 

Enneagram Test Results:

Your conscious personality is Type 9w1	Your unconscious personality is Type 9w1

 

Myers-Briggs-Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 67.86% Extroverted (E) 32.14% Intuitive (N) 52.38% Sensing (S) 47.62% Feeling (F) 55.26% Thinking (T) 44.74% Judging (J) 52.78% Perceiving (P) 47.22%

Your type is: INFJ

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

 

Big Five Test Results:

Extroverted		16%
Introverted		84%
Friendly		46%
Aggressive		54%
Orderly		54%
Disorderly		46%
Relaxed		60%
Emotional		40%
Openminded		62%
Closeminded		38%

The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:

Extroversion results were very low which suggests you are extremely quiet, unassertive, and aloof.

Friendliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately good natured, trusting, and helpful.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, reliable, neat, and ambitious.

Emotional Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, unemotional but possibly too unobservant of your feelings.

Openmindedness results were moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Overall (of the Big 5 factors), you scored highest on Openmindedness and lowest on Extroversion.